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chapter one
happily ever afters
pieces of a fairytale

the universe gave me a glimpse a fraction of a second do you think we’ll ever find it? our happy place? a walk down an empty alley a dance in our living room i memorizd the pattern of your words i memorized the way the light fell i memorized the space between us i desperately wanted to fill i loved the times we had i loved you with the time i had a piece of the fairytale that made me believe in it again the perfect shot for our happily ever after sometimes i found mystery in the riddles sometimes i found humanity in the silence but sometimes i woke up inside a fairytale

the story goes

it has cliches and continuous sunsets it’s a story where the world falls beneath and it starts with a happy ending it’s a story of being someone’s first choice not anyone just someone like you this is the story it’s every moment i was with you feeling the most at ease feeling overjoyed feeling like i never could leave your side this is the story where i wasn’t left behind it’s one of the many stories i never told you you love the ones with drama and action the ones with twisted endings and blood curdling screams you also liked the stories of strobe lights vacation spots and a sunburnt nose you liked stories that smelled like different seasons you liked my stories because they were real realizing this story entirely revolves around you a story i promised to be fiction a story of everything i couldn’t say a story of why i wanted to love you a story of how i wished you loved me a story of fictional inner dialogue a story of our shared interests a story of our will to live a story of my happiest ending

all i've loved

in this stretch of time the layers of memories i’ve loved all i could i did it quietly, secretly with the slightest of movement that you couldn’t detect i did it genuinely, carefully one word at a time pacing the marathon i did it boldly, outstandingly with things i never thought i could do a leap of faith each time a distant shout in the night i loved you with the time i had i loved the times we had right person, wrong time right time, wrong universe always you for me and still this was all i loved every moment i was granted a piece of a dream that fit into my reality one that flowed freely gracefully, sweeping me off my feet a fraction of a fairytale that made me believe in it again all that i’ve loved and all the ways you loved me too

your character and mine

i’ll let the writers write what they want just like i do myself they keep picking up your lines they detail your character with precision and i know my writers are not your writers so in your story i could be nothing but a blur but i know your character is important to mine in so many ways of growing and loving an easy character to love and i’ll keep rooting for you hoping my story does you justice and doesn’t let you fade away


i didn’t care for your closeness so you could touch me and kiss me i like you close to me so i can see you like this close to me so that when i stand in the same spot watching the sunset i feel all the moments you loved me so closely you didn’t seek to touch me or kiss me and i would be fine when you were close you believed in me your voice lit up with the sun and the pace at which you walked fast and at ease you spoke with care when you said i could be anything i wanted and right there i saw you were the first person i loved that believed in me like that and maybe i love you only because you believe in me because you saw something no one could because you said what i never heard because you looked at me like that so close so close so close to saying i loved you back you don’t realize what i want to say what i think of this closeness so close so close so close to saying i loved you the entire time

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