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chapter five: the nice view
what it feels like to love you
alone and quiet in the backseat watching the corners of your eyes drift to sleep wondering what it is you dream of even when the sun falls brightly on your face just the two of us it’s midnight at a booth moments from the birthday that didn’t belong to us wondering what the world sees in us even if i worry you’d never see me the same the raindrops on my face didn’t stop me from crying when it felt like the world fell apart and you’d be the first i’d hold close scrolling back on days stuck in the sand i relived every moment i caught myself loving you and found reflections in movies i loved loving it even when i hated everyone else and loving you when you remembered my keys i left
and love all along
i know it when i wake like i’m a kid on the morning of a field trip waiting every second until i’m with you it’s been a year since my last letter when all my feelings formed a shape looking just like you and still all the songs never stopped being about you i’ll know it when cheesy love songs play throughout the store and i want to hide away my smile thinking we’d hear it in another life and let it mean something more i’ll know it when my heart beats faster to your bare arms and hand gestures and my mind gets carried away thinking i could draw circles on your back and let it feel like love all along
i look at you knowing i'll love you tomorrow
catching my breath on this rooftop getting lost in the lives of others in the same way you do i’ll find myself next to you and it’s sweet when you tell me you love sweets as if they have just been invented i can see you in the glow of your cigarette like a movie we don’t belong in i can’t keep letting these thoughts make me blush all alone on this rooftop i look into each window wondering of their world or if they care about mine about ours i look into each light like it’s a star to wish upon if they signify some other world where it’s just the two of us
playing nostalgic
how have you been after all of this time not sure what to say what there is left what i have left to ponder when throughout all of this time i’ve thought of you and in small doses hated myself for feeling such it’s the discovery of a mirage in a desert why am i stuck there and what am i finding that isn’t there cause that’s the point of a mirage when lost, anything looks like it a sunny beach day a late night diner convo a flashing club scene mirages itself as love it made me hopeful and less lonely because i saw you and i had you just as much as you had me i’ve been stuck in this desert with nothing but horizons of sand not a single mirage of love but i’m coming up the hill anticipating a familiar face and more loving eyes soft hugs and side glances shop talking until tongue tied this feels endless for you loving like this i’m always nostalgic for a fairytale